Love in the office

The perks and traps of dating a co-worker

You get this amazing job and enjoy every ounce of it. The tasks, the strict-but-not-crazy deadlines, the environment, the activities, the co-workers…everything. As the time passes, you get to notice a specific person that gets your attention more than the rest. You got to hear all those stories about how wrong office flings are and you give yourself an order to let go of these thoughts and keep it casual, be friends, be actually co-workers.

First there’s collegiality, then there’s sharing all sorts of interesting things with each other and then there’s friendship. The next step is absolutely determined by a thing that I like to call the ‘uncontrollable attraction‘. The long conversations move in other places than your office and then in your thoughts for good. This is the moment when you are actually falling in love. Knowing it is wrong from the beginning doesn’t change your feelings for anyone, because it’s the heart that works and, unfortunately, not the brain.

When you decide that your crush is solid, please consider first your workplace policy. Nowadays, these things happen rather often and they are desired to be put off from the beginning. More and more companies decide to specifically stipulate in their contracts an anti-office-romance demand. Why? Because while it is good, everything is good, but when it gets bad, so does your emotional status and your productivity.

If there’s nothing stopping you, go for it, but always remember one thing – never mix work with love. You will get the ‘hiding excitement’, the kissing on the hallway and the exciting sex maybe, but all of this turns at some point in stress, especially if one of you gets tired of making these appearance efforts. The key elements in this whole situation are objectivity, respect for the work environment, self-control and modesty. If you have these working for you, you are about to experience a great office love that could easily turn into a happy marriage.

Before starting, analyze your co-worker relationship. Keep in mind the fact that if things don’t work out (which is not a mandatory fact), you’ll be seeing each other a lot and you will have to work together a lot. This translates in painful work hours and a hard, hard heartbreak. Office heartbreaks are the worst because they cure so hardly. You can’t easily get over someone if you have to see them and talk to them every day. Your subjectivity may get weak and the fling that felt so good a few months ago may turn into strong discomfort, sadness or even hatred.

NEVER consider leaving the job just because you got your heart broken. If you love what you do for a living, remember that all the things are the same as they were when you got into this. Nothing has changed, except yourself. Don’t give up on anything only because something that is totally from a different scenario, didn’t work. Stay strong, stay objective and do your job with even more determination.

If you get to have a great relationship and even get to turn it into a happy marriage, please keep in mind the fact that at the office you are still co-workers. Don’t be subjective, don’t do free favors and don’t make the rest of the group feel rightless, left out or even uncomfortable. Keep the affection and love to yourselves and express it at home our anywhere outside of work.

If it happens to have a relationship with your boss, things get even more sensitive. You could be making little mistakes with strong effects on your other co-workers and not even notice. Don’t get the ‘It’s only our business and they have to deal with it’ attitude and think about it. While doing these things, you get to become less of a professional and more of a ‘privileged lover’.

In conclusion, remember that only 30% of the office relationships end up in marriage, while the rest of them end up in break up. If you manage to keep it totally out of the office, you get to live it to the max and get what’s best out of it. Workplace flings can turn into great love stories, if the lovers are walking in the same direction.

So, what road will you be taking?

 

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